There were no Valentines for me because I do not live in a movie. I’m not sure why I expected flowers or cards. I’m not dating anyone and the last time someone attempted to get my number I didn’t even realise until it was too late. I say I hate Valentine’s day and that is mostly true but the daydreamer in me still opens the door and checks the mail with a quirky smile as if there were cameras on me.
If this was a movie, everyone would have walked out of the cinema ages ago.
Lately I have been struggling to get my words out. I’ll attempt to contribute to conversations and I’ll get bored of what I’m saying before I have finished speaking. I hold onto the look on other people’s faces as they wait for my drawn out sentences to end. It’s like they are expecting something interesting to come out so they give me all of their attention only to be disappointed.
Then I think of all of the things I didn’t say, the dumb things I said and the spaces between my words where I hang out. I think it’s getting harder for me to act like a usual human being.
Here is some more space.