“The psychiatrist I was seeing back then didn’t really do anything…”
“Who was that?”
“Just a psychiatrist. It doesn’t matter. She hates me.”
“Why would she hate you?”
“They all hate me… So how did I do on those tests?”
I have a new psychologist, which sounds stupid after I wrote not long ago about how I was quitting therapy. Going to see a psychologist was my GP’s idea and I didn’t want to let him down or prove my ex-psychiatrist right by being “non-compliant” so I agreed to it.
I’ve only seen the psychologist once and I haven’t made my mind up about her yet. I suppose she is okay and at least she appears to be approaching things from another angle. She made me do some tests and I tried my best to fill her in on my life without giving away too much too soon.
Her office is really nice but her waiting room is too quiet. I think every therapist should have two offices, along with a waiting room. Then whoever is next to see them can wait in a private office and try to calm down before their appointment. I guess some people don’t mind sitting in a waiting room with others and in that case they wouldn’t have to go to the private office… They could call that place the panic room!
While she was trying to work out what sort of defective I am, I was testing her out too. I told her things which have annoyed me about therapy in the past. I tested out her knowledge and observed her reactions to some of the things I told her.
“Do you have anything you want to ask me?”, She asked me.
“Do you believe people can get better?”
“I really do. I think people can cope better and learn ways to deal with what has happened to them in life.”
“Even people who have been messed up since childhood?”
“But people can’t become new… They can’t become like new people and have a new life?”
“We absorb all of our experiences so I don’t think people become new. We are shaped by what has happened in the past and that makes us who we are.”
She’s already miles ahead of the therapist who told me that none of her patients had ever stopped going to see her without getting better. I broke that record pretty quickly!