It’s too late now

Two nights in a row I have been bothered by anxiety over something which never happened. The first night as I lay sleeplessly, my heart started beating really fast as a thought came into my head: I left a bag of my belongings in the hospital ages ago and now it’s too late to get them back! I started to freak out just a bit as I worried about what to do. How could I have forgotten my stuff? Why didn’t the hospital contact me and make an effort to get it back to me? Why have I let it go on for so long?

I was worrying about a fragment of a recurring dream and even though I knew it wasn’t real, that didn’t stop me from repeating the worry cycle the following night.

I remember most specifically the two occasions which spur this worry as well as the dream, I suppose. One time I wasn’t even in the hospital grounds as my belongings were packed away and locked up in a cupboard because I was already on the way to another hospital. The other time I had a while to wait nervously for an ambulance to transfer me. I was allowed to decide what would stay in one hospital and what would come with me to another.

I’ve lost things in hospitals and I’m sure a couple of things were stolen. I left some clothes in an emergency room because I was too scared to go back there and collect them. In another hospital my clothes were taken away and I was given something else to wear. When I went to collect everything after I was discharged, one of my favourite tops had mysteriously  gone missing.

Even though I know it isn’t possible, there is a part of me that worries that I never made it back to the first hospital after I was scheduled somewhere else. I am exactly the type of person who would let too much time go by to do anything about lost belongings. I am also the type of person who obsessively checks every draw and shelf over and over after staying anywhere to make sure I haven’t left anything behind.

I have to keep reminding myself that it’s ridiculous to worry about something that never happened but there’s a part of my mind that still believes it is possible and makes me think about what I might have left behind.

I don’t think I am missing anything.




2 thoughts on “It’s too late now

  1. The things you think you left behind are replaceable just be glad your not there anymore. Be happy that it’s those things that were left there and not you. Have a great day 🙂

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