An afterthought

I had to attend a party yesterday and as usual I was terrified of social interaction and the inevitable questions. I got through it all mostly fine although I had a very awkward conversation with one of my friend’s relatives. I came home and felt really sorry for her because she had to endure my anxiety and peculiar attempts to hide my ineptitude. I figured I was somewhat of charity case and she was just being kind to me because she knows I struggle in life.

A new thought occurred today though- what if she feels awkward at those sorts of things and what if she sought me out because she felt I was a safe person to talk to? I am not trying to make it seem like she’s as socially messed up as I am but maybe instead of feeling sorry for me, she was just relieved to have someone to talk to. I always assume that people who are in a better looking “boat” than I am are good at coping in all areas of life but just because they’re working, in relationships or have children doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling too.

Maybe other people at the party were glad that I was there too because they knew that I wasn’t going to intimidate them or ask them scary questions.

Who knows?

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4 thoughts on “An afterthought

  1. I am quite sure miss four was very happy you were there. Miss four’s mom values your friendship as I do. So yessss the conversations you had with others. They were valued too. I am glad you went. Where are you going today? 🙂

  2. Who knows … That was a very good way of looking at it. I believe you are right about us always believing that other people handles everything so amazingly perfectastic all the time, but that can’t be right. Then there wouldn’t be so many messed up blogs out there. Imagine me being at that party too, I might not look like everything is messed up inside, but taking a look in there, you can know that it is.
    I love stopping by here. And as always I spam you. Forgive me S&S.

    • I like that word- perfectastic! Did you make it up? Sometimes I think it is worse to not look obviously messed up but I guess the fact that my insides and outsides generally don’t match makes me somewhat mysterious? It’s not spam. I like that you stop by. Thank you!

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