One of those situations came up where someone asked me a favour and I really couldn’t say no without seeming like a total asshole. I felt trapped and my first response was to ignore and avoid. Years and years of therapy and one of the more recent things I have taken a liking to is calling out bullshit. I’m quick to externalise this behaviour but the challenge for me is to recognise when my own thoughts or distortions are bullshit.
In this instance of my friend asking me if I will be able to pick her parents up and take them somewhere on the weekend I really couldn’t say no because I am going to the same place. I started thinking- Why can’t I do this? Being anxious and worrying about my driving or the conversations which might come up in the car shouldn’t stop me from helping out some lovely people who have driven me lots of places over the years as well as always welcomed me into their home despite my bratty behaviour as a teen and the general strangeness that arises when your daughter is friends with someone who has a mental illness.
Being anxious and scared is bullshit. Those feelings are real and they may well exist as I am driving along but why should they stop me from doing something nice? Then there is the fact that my friend asked me to do this. She trusts that I will be able to cope and she isn’t nervous about the fact that we will probably talk about our common tie, which is her. She needs me to help out so why can’t I do that?