There is no reason why I can’t

One of those situations came up where someone asked me a favour and I really couldn’t say no without seeming like a total asshole. I felt trapped and my first response was to ignore and avoid. Years and years of therapy and one of the more recent things I have taken a liking to is calling out bullshit. I’m quick to externalise this behaviour but the challenge for me is to recognise when my own thoughts or distortions are bullshit.

In this instance of my friend asking me if I will be able to pick her parents up and take them somewhere on the weekend I really couldn’t say no because I am going to the same place. I started thinking- Why can’t I do this? Being anxious and worrying about my driving or the conversations which might come up in the car shouldn’t stop me from helping out some lovely people who have driven me lots of places over the years as well as always welcomed me into their home despite my bratty behaviour as a teen and the general strangeness that arises when your daughter is friends with someone who has a mental illness.

Being anxious and scared is bullshit. Those feelings are real and they may well exist as I am driving along but why should they stop me from doing something nice? Then there is the fact that my friend asked me to do this. She trusts that I will be able to cope and she isn’t nervous about the fact that we will probably talk about our common tie, which is her. She needs me to help out so why can’t I do that?

I can.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “There is no reason why I can’t

  1. Those feelings of anxiety are only to be expected if we are struggling with MH, but it’s good to push past those fears and I’m sure it says a lot about your own recovery

  2. Did you end up doing it?
    You are so right. You just help yourself. You stop to think and you try to change your emotions with your thoughts. Or that’s what it sounds like. What I’m scared I would’ve done in that situation is ended up not going myself either, because then I wouldn’t be that rude, but I would’ve ended up not helping out a friend, and not doing what I had planned.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s