“You wont understand this.”

I do not go to church and I am not a part of any sort of organised religion. I like to think of myself as open-minded to the point of not entirely discounting any belief and I tend to believe in a universal sort of god rather than a god as a single being. I’m not sure of anything enough to commit to a formal doctrine nor to say for sure that I don’t believe in anything at all. In most people’s eyes I suppose I am agnostic but in my father and stepmother’s eyes I am godless and doomed. They expect me to hold hands with them and pray before we share a meal but I am only on the fringe of their world and am therefore excluded from many of their conversations.

The other day my father was talking about someone who might have to go back overseas to a life which wasn’t entirely great and all of a sudden he looked directly at me and said, “You wont understand this.”, I sat back and listened to how the person he was talking about is okay with whatever outcome because god is with her and god will make the best decision for her.

Que Sera, Sera, right? How could I not understand that? With or without god I believe things happen for a reason. Replace god with the universe or mother nature or the stars and it’s all the same. Once upon a time, not too long ago my father would have agreed with me. Now I am shunned because I am not “of faith.” I could have said something, just like the time my father and stepmother were telling my brother that he shouldn’t date someone who isn’t of the exact same denomination and doesn’t have the exact same devotion to god as he does. I stood up then and announced that love is so precious and while I agree to a point that it may be important to share similar beliefs, religion shouldn’t be the final decider of whom to date. I got lectured quite a bit for that because of course, I didn’t understand and I will never understand until I decide to become just like them.

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4 thoughts on ““You wont understand this.”

  1. interesting.. if it means anything i think the view you have now is thoughtful, open minded and balanced. It’s ok as long as it isn’t your fathers – not to say you shouldn’t believe anything he says. just make sure you think for yourself 🙂

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