Would you rather be phased out of someone’s life slowly or dropped suddenly? I would rather the latter because I don’t want to waste time or energy on someone who doesn’t want me around. It’s so much easier to hate someone than to be confused about the friendship or relationship, even if hate is a “bad” emotion.
People think it is more gentle to gradually pull away from others and this is one of the reasons why I have used this method myself. If we’re really being honest though, we don’t want to feel guilty about what we’re doing or to have to deal with the backlash of anger from the other person so the real reason we phase people out is to protect ourselves.
I’m being phased out of someone’s life for reasons which make complete sense but it still hurts. If it didn’t hurt then I wouldn’t care and I would have removed myself from the situation ages ago. I don’t want it to end though and I definitely don’t want to be the one to end it (because it’s better to be mad at them than at myself) so I stick around and pretend to be easygoing.
The biggest favour anyone can do for me is to give me a reason to want nothing to do with them anymore. Otherwise I will always have some sort of attachment to them and they will always own a part of me.