Sudden or gradual?

Would you rather be phased out of someone’s life slowly or dropped suddenly? I would rather the latter because I don’t want to waste time or energy on someone who doesn’t want me around. It’s so much easier to hate someone than to be confused about the friendship or relationship, even if hate is a “bad” emotion.

People think it is more gentle to gradually pull away from others and this is one of the reasons why I have used this method myself. If we’re really being honest though, we don’t want to feel guilty about what we’re doing or to have to deal with the backlash of anger from the other person so the real reason we phase people out is to protect ourselves.

I’m being phased out of someone’s life for reasons which make complete sense but it still hurts. If it didn’t hurt then I wouldn’t care and I would have removed myself from the situation ages ago. I don’t want it to end though and I definitely don’t want to be the one to end it (because it’s better to be mad at them than at myself) so I stick around and pretend to be easygoing.

The biggest favour anyone can do for me is to give me a reason to want nothing to do with them anymore. Otherwise I will always have some sort of attachment to them and they will always own a part of me.

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7 thoughts on “Sudden or gradual?

  1. I’m still reading. Yours is the only blog I subscribe to. Sorry about your fading relation. Idk which method I prefer. Most of my life I was the one to (abruptly) sever connections. Or they ended b/c (w/ or w/o family) I moved around a lot.

  2. I hug you and hope things turn out the way you want them. Sometimes in life it’s hard to understand why certain things are unfolding the way they are…but I believe everything happens for a reason. Yet at times it’s not an easy thing to accept. Especially when your hurting.
    Much love. Paula x

  3. You should ask her Double S, perhaps there is just a misunderstanding, it is better to know for sure rather than always wonder and let it get worse. There is nothing to lose by just asking right?

    • Asking would be a logical thing to do but that doesn’t sound very much like me. I saw her today but that doesn’t mean I am not being phased out. It could be a good sign or it could be a part of her process of removing me.

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