The only thing worse than not having a suitable answer for someone is knowing that the other person is asking the same questions over and over to provoke you. The first couple of times you might make up some sort of excuse because lying is better than being shocking. You don’t lie to benefit yourself, although you are spared of some surface shame, deep down you know the truth will keep you up at night. You probably don’t even care enough to benefit the other person except to maybe satisfy their need for an answer. Deep down they probably know that you’re lying too but that’s not their problem. As far as they’re concerned they are adhering to social norms and if you choose to mislead them it just proves how much of a weirdo you are.
They keep asking you though. It’s like a game for them to see how quickly you can come up with another story. They think they might be able to catch you out and they look at you with just a hint of a smirk.
They have every intent to humiliate you but you’re too good for that. It’s crazy how much your self-esteem grows when you find someone that makes you angry enough. You’re better than this and you’re sure as hell better than they are because you would never intentionally go out of your way to make someone feel pathetic.
Before you launch straight into shutdown mode, you experiment with answers that make you laugh internally (and externally from a safe distance). The upper hand is yours because now they don’t know how to respond. It helps that you’re able to deliver your responses with absolute sincerity.
The best answers have no follow up questions and the best way to say, “Fuck you,” is to act like you don’t care.