“Dad isn’t feeling well so we will have to reschedule lunch. I know you’re disappointed.” He’s not being sarcastic. My brother says this over the phone with sincerity which baffles me. “What are you talking about? You know I was nervous and didn’t even want to go!” I say back. “I know you’re disappointed.”, he repeats and I realise that he is speaking this way because his girlfriend is in the room with him. This is just one instance of him trying to make it seem like I am not an anxious weirdo. He wants it to seem like we’re a happy family who like seeing each other even if it isn’t always the case. He is telling me I am disappointed because that’s how he thinks I should be or rather this is how he thinks his girlfriend thinks I should be.
Another instance of this occurs when I am driving with him and his girlfriend. “Didn’t you say you wanted to take [his girlfriend]’s mother there when she visits?”, he says loud enough for us all to hear. I don’t catch on. “Huh? I don’t think so. Maybe you were thinking that.” I reply but what I really want to say is, “Do you know me at all? I’m the last person who would offer to take anyone anywhere, let alone somebody I have never met!”
“I’m pretty sure you said that.”, he tries again. Is he trying to embarrass me? Is he trying to make me offer to be his girlfriend’s mother’s tour guide? It doesn’t work. I let the conversation trail off.
I really don’t understand what is happening here. I told my brother to be honest with his girlfriend about my problems right from the start and she has been nothing but incredibly nice to me. She doesn’t ask personal questions or make me feel ashamed of how I am so why does my brother want to make it seem like I am someone I am not?