Things I am Looking Forward To

I’m sitting here poking holes in my pyjamas with a bobby pin and I’m trying to think of anything I am looking forward to but there is nothing. Even thinking about potential situations which might make those I care about happy doesn’t make me feel anything because I am so detached that I can’t even rely on my parasitic emotional absorption.

I don’t care about Christmas. I don’t want any presents and I don’t want to go to the extended family lunch. I’m dreading 2015 because time is passing too quickly and I have nothing to show for it. There is nothing I want to do today. There is nothing making me happy right now.

What a total mess.


4 thoughts on “Things I am Looking Forward To

  1. awww, Double S we have moments like that, take a deep breath, 2015 could be the year that things change a lot, perhaps that new treatment. Take one day at a time.

    hey stop poking holes in your jamie’s.

  2. Perhaps you can you watch “Elf” and find some Christmas cheer there? Elf is pretty happy; he might be contagious and stick some holiday spirit in you. You can eat candy canes while watching it!

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