I could say that my favourite colour is purple and really believe it but what if my entire apartment is decorated with green? What if I only wear green and paint my nails green. What if I eat lots of green food and drive a green car? To anyone else it would probably seem that my favourite colour is green so which colour is my favourite? The one which I claim to be my favourite or the one which everyone else sees and assumes is my favourite? It’s purple, right?
If I see myself as ugly, useless, a freak or whatever else then that’s what I believe. How can I change what I believe when I only believe what I think is true? Even if other people say that I am not these things, why should I believe them? Why should I believe them if they say that my favourite colour is green when it is actually purple? If I tell someone that I don’t believe in Santa and they tell me to just believe in him, is it going to change what I think? I don’t think so. I cant just believe in something because someone tells me to try to.
My psychiatrist tries to convince me that what I think might not be an accurate representation of reality but if I believe it to be true (and generally here I am referring to long-ingrained beliefs about myself) then isn’t it as true as purple being my favourite colour?