It just wont do to be out of bed, exercising and existing amongst others. It wont do because I can’t do it right and I don’t even care to.
“Okay..” wont do as an answer when asked how I am. It’s not enough. I am then expected to ask the other person how they are but I don’t care. I don’t even care to thank them for asking me how I am because it is an inconvenience to answer. It’s a swing back to reality. It’s a social interaction. I don’t answer correctly and their whole opinion of me is summed up by a look. They think I am rude, strange and awkward. They look at me like I am a total bitch for not playing the conversation game.
I’m somewhere else. I’ve crawled between the letters of the signs around us but they cant see that. They can only see my short answer and the distance which grows between us; a distance which should always have been there. I don’t care to cross it so why must others?