Dark S&S

I have so much anxiety today. I can’t commit to doing anything. Even writing this is difficult and seems pointless. I don’t want to have to deal with living anymore because everything is just so scary. I’m waiting for my friend’s baby to come safely into the world so that I can decide if I am ready to leave. How messed up is that?

I have to see my psychiatrist tomorrow and I really don’t want to. It’s not worth the anxiety I feel. He’ll want to talk about what he thinks is making me so anxious and he will be right, of course. There are no solutions though, doc.

Even my death wouldn’t be a solution. It would just be a transference of pain onto people who would be able to cope with it better than I do or so I assume.

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14 thoughts on “Dark S&S

  1. I understand that it feels really bad and thank you for sharing. I struggle so much with my anxiety and it is really hard. I hope you’re feeling better soon!

  2. I’m sending you lots of love.
    Think about the fact that one day you’ll be smiling! You’ll be going to bed and you can’t wait for another day to come along! One day you’ll be smiling.

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