Oh Hey So I Ruined My Sleep Already! (for a good reason though!)

I blog a lot about my friend who is pretty much my only friend. Usually I whine about how our friendship is fading and blah blah blah. Anyway lets give her a cool name for the sake of this post. How about Lil, as in Li’l Sunshine because she is a sunshiny person.

Lil’s partner has gone away for a week and she hates being alone, especially at night. She gets scared on her own. (She’s the total opposite of me!) When she told me he was going away, I said that if she wants to hang out or needs anything, I am always around. She told me that it would be really nice to have some company at night. I told Lil that I would drop in whenever she would like me to. ( I didn’t want to do this, especially at night but I don’t like to think of her feeling scared and alone with a toddler. She worries about noises that her house makes, people out on the street and stuff like that.)

Tonight I went over to Lil’s house and took her some dinner, ice cream, chocolates and lollies. I have this thing about eating with people. It gets bad at times, especially when I feel trapped and know I can’t just leave a situation if I feel uncomfortable. I never enjoy sharing a meal with people. I had to eat something though so I ate a little bit of bread and chicken. (This made everything worse a bit later.)

After dinner, and some playing with my toddler friend while watching some of “Let it Go” *edit* I meant “Frozen”, we put the toddler to bed. I tried to sneak out of the room as she was falling asleep (silence/stillness= not my thing) but Lil’s daughter wouldn’t let me so I had to sit in the room with my friend and wait for her to fall asleep.

Then came our adult time *edit* That sounds kind of dirty! We watched some movies but mostly we chatted for hours. My inability to eat much caught up with me. I was starving but I didn’t want to eat anything so I sat there hungry and dying for a cigarette. My friend doesn’t smoke anymore and I don’t want to smoke around her (like not literally around her but I don’t want to make her feel weird if I went out for a smoke.)

I was also very late for medication, considering I left her house at 1:00am and I have usually had all of my meds by 8:00pm. I kept hoping she would get tired and want to go to sleep but she didn’t or maybe she was just enjoying spending so much time with me. Eventually I asked if it was okay if I went home.

It’s now almost 2:00am and I am considering staying up all night because I am not tired but if I do fall asleep, I will want to sleep through all of tomorrow. If I don’t sleep then I will have one super tired and probably grouchy day but then I will sleep really well, right?

I don’t know.
Anyway, despite the sleep stuff up and everything else, I am glad I was able to make the night much nicer for my friend.

Hey god, did you see that? Remember it!


12 thoughts on “Oh Hey So I Ruined My Sleep Already! (for a good reason though!)

      • You had a good visit though I think, restored a friendship you were worried about. now if we can just get you comfortable eating with others.

        I bet you had fun with your toddler friend. 🙂

      • They’re both lots of fun but I definitely have a great time with the toddler. We danced together and made a paper tea pot. We also played with toys but she made me lift her up a lot and she’s getting heavy! I’m wrecked today though.

  1. If you are still on Seroquel, why take it at 8 pm? It’s great for sleep…I take it a half hour before bedtime. My dosage is 200mg. For mild psychosis, O.C.D., misery, etc. I like it.

    • I actually take my Seroquel even earlier- at 7pm. I only take 25mg of it now though so it’s not enough to put me to sleep. I used to take 150mg but came off most of it the last time I was in hospital. I take my other meds, including a sleeping pill at 8pm with the intention of going to sleep by 10pm but it doesn’t work so well. I used to be able to sleep at around 9pm or 9:30. I don’t know why things are different now.

  2. You really are an amazing person, you know that?
    But S&S, shouldn’t your friend know you a little better? Shouldn’t she know that you need to take your meds, and you need to have your sleep?
    I want to tell you that I’m so grateful for you, and I would be so grateful if you were my friend, and supported me like this, I’m sure your friend also appreciates it! But you gotta remember to take care of YOU too!
    (And she’s not your only friend, it’s just that some of your other friends don’t always seem real since they’re behind a computer screen … at least I wish I could be your friend.)
    Take care.

    • Thank you, Marie. I wish you were living on my street and not in my computer.
      I sort of told her that I am not sleeping well and I wasn’t tired when I was with her so I guess she assumed I was fine to “party on.”
      She wants to see me again tonight but if I go I will tell her that I can’t stay so late because I need to take my pills earlier and I can’t drive on them and she will understand.

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