I’ve switched timezones unintentionally. It’s rare that I am asleep before 2:00am and it’s even more rare for me to be out of bed before 11:00am. In between those hours there is some very broken sleep but mostly from about 8:00am I am just dozing or lying in bed because it is warm and comfortable and I don’t want to face the day.
I go to bed at around 10:00pm which means that for about four hours I am desperately trying to fall asleep. I know that they say you shouldn’t try to fall asleep and that instead you should try to stay awake but I’ve tried that too and it doesn’t work.
It’s shocking what goes through my head in those hours of restlessness. I become really bleak and think that I should just kill myself so I don’t have to wait for sleep or I become another extreme where I write notes about great ideas and inventions. The next day I look excitedly at what I have written and it’s mostly garbage.
I feel like a more neurotic version of Goldilocks when I can’t get to sleep. My bed becomes too soft or too hard (I consider sleeping on the couch but I am too lazy to move), my pillow doesn’t feel like it is aligned properly with my head (I pull it away and sleep on my too soft or too hard mattress), my hair feels like it is strangling me (I’m tempted to shave it all off) and I am either too cold or too warm (so I go for the former, open all of my windows and shiver under a sheet).
Eventually I do fall asleep and make adjustments in the night by opening or closing windows and shifting my bedding. I get up and wander around but I usually go back to sleep pretty quickly. When it is what I would consider a reasonable hour of waking, I find it impossible to get out of bed. I like dozing and drifting into strange semi-dreams.
This is a really boring post and I can’t be bothered writing anything else.