Goldilacking Sleep

I’ve switched timezones unintentionally. It’s rare that I am asleep before 2:00am and it’s even more rare for me to be out of bed before 11:00am. In between those hours there is some very broken sleep but mostly from about 8:00am I am just dozing or lying in bed because it is warm and comfortable and I don’t want to face the day.

I go to bed at around 10:00pm which means that for about four hours I am desperately trying to fall asleep. I know that they say you shouldn’t try to fall asleep and that instead you should try to stay awake but I’ve tried that too and it doesn’t work.

It’s shocking what goes through my head in those hours of restlessness. I become really bleak and think that I should just kill myself so I don’t have to wait for sleep or I become another extreme where I write notes about great ideas and inventions. The next day I look excitedly at what I have written and it’s mostly garbage.

I feel like a more neurotic version of Goldilocks when I can’t get to sleep. My bed becomes too soft or too hard (I consider sleeping on the couch but I am too lazy to move), my pillow doesn’t feel like it is aligned properly with my head (I pull it away and sleep on my too soft or too hard mattress), my hair feels like it is strangling me (I’m tempted to shave it all off) and I am either too cold or too warm (so I go for the former, open all of my windows and shiver under a sheet).

Eventually I do fall asleep and make adjustments in the night by opening or closing windows and shifting my bedding. I get up and wander around but I usually go back to sleep pretty quickly. When it is what I would consider a reasonable hour of waking, I find it impossible to get out of bed. I like dozing and drifting into strange semi-dreams.

This is a really boring post and I can’t be bothered writing anything else.




7 thoughts on “Goldilacking Sleep

  1. I can relate a lot. A lot, a lot.
    Mild but consistent insomnia is a persistent struggle of trying to find some way to relax, but knowing you’re not relaxed because for some reason even though you’re sleepy, you’re also not sleepy at the same time.
    Generally I find taking as shower before bed means I’m more likely to relax so I actually fall asleep in the first place. Having a bedtime routine also seems to help a little.

    I’ve not done it very much (But I’m thinking I should start again) but I found it useful to have a list of things to think about while I’m trying to fall asleep. That way it’s less likely my brain will wander onto not to nice places, and if it does I have specific things I can redirect it to.
    It’s especially good when I can pick a topic that is halfway in between enjoyable and boring.
    An example would be “Think of flowers you want to draw” which is a creative project so I’m happy at the prospect of making it, and then I’m laying there picturing flowers which is kind of boring because they’re just flowers, but I try to remember interesting ones I’ve googled, and which colours I could use if I was going to paint them to get the shadowed effects of petals. Et cetera
    Which is all much more calming than the places my brain usually goes without direction.

    • Thank you. Those are some great suggestions. I really like the flower example and maybe thinking of something creative might spark some interesting dreams. (Which often can lead to creativity as well!)

      • Ah, you are more welcome of course! I hope they might help you a bit. I definitely like thinking about creative projects, in general, but you’re totally right I do think it gets my mind into a really good zone so dream about wild and beautiful things.
        As a bonus I think it makes me feel more like making stuff when I get up too. Almost like day dreaming up a game plan. ^_^

  2. I definitely feel you with the Goldilocks thing…I tend to suddenly decide I don’t have enough/I have too many pillows, re-arrange the bed, then half an hour later declare myself to be ‘uncomfortable’ and have to re-sort everything. Not a boring post at all – it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with those particular neurotic tendencies 😉

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