Bruises and Chocolate

Last night was disgusting. I was feeling destructive and emotional so I ate ALL of the Easter eggs I had bought for a friend. Of course I was sick. I can’t really eat anything these days, let alone chocolate. I feel awful. As I stuffed my face with chocolate I felt like I deserved to be sick and like I was eating away at a dying friendship.

Today I hurried down to the shops to see if I could find any reduced Easter eggs but there were none. Well there was one sketchy looking bag of no-name eggs but I figured it’s better to give nothing than to give total crap.

My lack of nutrients, apart from my awful chocolate binge, could be the reason I have bruises all over my body, particularly on my legs. Or else I am thrashing about in my sleep. Who knows. I don’t really care enough to get them checked out but I will keep an eye on them. That sounds ridiculous coming from someone who doesn’t even want to live but I would hate for something to be wrong with me beyond my control. I hate being sick. If I am going to be tormented in any way, it should be self-inflicted.


6 thoughts on “Bruises and Chocolate

    • I’ll bring it up at my next appointment with my psychiatrist. If more appear or if they get bigger, I will go to the GP. I counted about ten on one leg but some of them are only about the size of a thumbnail.

  1. Just a few words to commiserate with you. I binge on nuts and rice crackers, those healthy ones, which is not as bad as chocolate, but is still overeating, which is bad. And I also feel awful and guilty. If I remember to put chewing gum in my mouth, the healthy one of course, I can go without eating for quite a long time and I feel really good. I read somewhere that chewing releases the good-feel hormone in your brain. It definitely works for me.

    Try binging on vegetables and fruit! 🙂 Best wishes, Irina

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