When my mind isn’t constantly trying to reassure myself that I am okay (“You’re okay. I’m okay. You will be okay. Everything is okay. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay until you get home. If anything bad is going to happen, it will happen when you’re safe and at home again.”, it turns most of what is going on around me into a horror movie. Usually I am the star of my little movies, although mostly I’m not a survivor. I think of things like walking around a corner and being stabbed or a ghost appearing in front of my car as I drive.
Today someone knocked on my door asking for someone I don’t know. She mentioned the place where that person works and I immediately pointed to the door of one of my neighbours. It wasn’t really a big deal but then I thought: what if I sent a killer to my neighbour’s house? What if that lady was stalking my neighbour and wants to hold her hostage? I just gave away my neighbour’s address without really thinking about it.
To be fair (and slightly more rational) the woman who knocked on my door seemed calm and nice. Maybe that was her plan though? Maybe she is exceedingly pleasant so people like me give out addresses without hesitation!
I often imagine having to be interviewed by police and ending up on the news as a witness to a horrific event. When I hear my neighbours fight, I imagine a reporter asking, “Did you hear them fighting? Why didn’t you do anything?” In the example from today, I imagine a reporter saying, “So, you just pointed out the address? You didn’t think about the privacy of your neighbour?”
In my head reporters really interrogate witnesses!