In one of the groups I attended in hospital, the facilitator drew a hill and a car on the whiteboard to symbolise our journeys or something like that. Then she drew a monster in the way and asked what we should do. I wanted to say, “We should run that fucker over!” but I kept quiet. She told us that we should bring the monster with us.
The monster is anxiety/depression or anything else which gets in the way of life. The facilitator explained that if the monster is stopping us from getting up the hill, the best thing to do is to get a little trailer and bring it along for the ride. I guess eventually when we reach the top of the hill we might be strong enough to fight the monster for good.
At the time, I thought it was airy-fairy nonsense. I had no intention to let a monster of any kind freeload a ride. I wanted to separate myself from the monster by going in a different direction or turning around. If I stood still, I wouldn’t have to make any decisions. Life doesn’t work very well that way though.
Today, much to my reluctance, I have to bring the stupid monster with me. I can’t avoid what I have to do and I can’t numb myself with medication anymore.
Maybe the more I let the monster come on my journey, the nicer it will become. I don’t know. I really don’t understand some types of therapy.