Rotten little mad girl

I’m here. I’m in hospital. I’m being good and going to groups despite the worst withdrawal symptoms. I feel like hell. I am doing this though. I’m so fucking polite. I’m not arguing with staff. I’m an airy fairy flower child. People actually like me. My loved ones are encouraging. The staff are kind.

But…

MEGA TRIGGER WARNING!

No trigger warning. Everything he is just great and fine and wonderful.

Pleasant, cooperative and oh so kind. I’m a fucking lovely patient.

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26 thoughts on “Rotten little mad girl

  1. You’re not going to like this, but I feel an obligation to say that you must discuss this with your doctor or the nursing staff. I’m sorry, but you’re part of my community, and I cannot not say this.
    You are absolutely, positively, immeasurably precious to lose to suicide. I would be devastated if your voice fell silent. Please tell someone about these thoughts you’re having.
    *hugs*
    *more hugs*
    I know that when I was in hospital, going through med changes and simply being there, it was awful – but I’m glad I survived. Don’t hate me, but please let someone know what you’re thinking.

  2. You didnt mention these feelings in our emails sunbeams and smiles. Your withdrawal symptoms are powerful as you just stopped. It will get better. Be strong please. Of course I will send more in an email.

    one day… one moment at a time.

    Be strong!

    • Tapering off Seroquel but came off Xanax and Valium as soon as I got here. That was me trying to be tough but I wish I had tapered off them instead. Now it’s too late to take them or it would undo everything.

  3. I yearn for the good old days when they took you off meds over six to eight weeks! None of this all in a hurry business which leaves us feeling so ratshit. Still thinking of you. Take care. *hugs* *chocolate* and just for something different: *pansies* (I love pansies, they’re one of my favourite flowers! Hope this virtual pot of deep purple beauties brightens up your hospital room!)

    • Purple is my favourite colour! Thank you!
      Yep, these days public hospitals don’t want to keep you more than three weeks because after three weeks, the health funds don’t pay them as much money!

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