Friends and the fear-worthy

I’ve adopted the old lady as a grandma while in here. I’ve made friends with a middle aged man who is so kind and easy to talk to. He’s like an uncle. There’s a girl a bit older than me who is really kind and likes the same things I do and another a bit younger who really understands my mind and how I think. everyone here is pretty cool but that guy who I mentioned in my last blog, he’s creeping me out so much. I told my doctor about him and he’s aware of what’s going on. I guess the staff see everything on the cameras. Actually, he’s not just freaking me out, he’s freaking out most of the women. I look much younger than my age and I think thats why he is attached to me but I heard from my sort of uncle in here that he’s also been trying to get close to the actual teenage girls. They’ve had a meeting about him and he’s been told to leave everyone alone but because he isn’t considered dangerous, he’s allowed to stay.

its doing my head in. Every time I creep out of my room he’s sitting in his room with the door open and he follows me. When I get my medication he comes up and stands near me. i just left my room to go out for a cigarette and I saw him in his room. I felt really strange about leaving my room in case he got in there but I went out because I don’t want the staff to think I am acting weird. I lit my cigarette and then freaked out. I couldn’t find the keys to my cupboard and I was so scared that creepy guy would get in there. I gave my cigarette to my sort of uncle and ran inside. I grabbed my keys and had a look around to see if anything was out of place. I went back outside and creepy guy ran up right behind me. As I walked I could feel him so close and I hurried over to the smoking area. My sort of uncle is protective and told me to sit next to him so creepy dude couldn’t get close to me. I finished my cigarette and came back into my room. Because I am stupid and this is an iPad, I will mention now that when I went back in, I saw creepy guy tuck something into his pocket quickly. I have been searching my room to make sure he hasn’t taken anything but what if he has? I am so scared but I can’t just go accusing people of stuff when I have no proof. 

  I’m so worried that he will come into my room when I am sleeping. He really gives me the chills. I hate how he says thing like, hi beautiful or you look pretty today. Any other patient can say something like that and I know they are just being nice but when he says it, it’s really sinister. His smile is so creepy. His whole demeanour is creepy. I sort of hope he breaks a rule or something and gets sent somewhere else. Ugh, i really have to check my cupboard again to make sure nothing is missing. I can feel him just hovering out there, sitting in his room and staring at my door. 

My sort of uncle leaves on Thursday and I am so scared about not having him around to protect me. 😦

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5 thoughts on “Friends and the fear-worthy

  1. I get angry with that place. How on earth are they thinking. Thet are not easing your anxiety. They are creating it!!
    Have you talked to your parents so that the can help you.

  2. Oh dear, this is really very bad.
    It’s great you’ve told your doctor. Seriously, if he’s coming up behind you and saying things to you, I’d document it all and show it to your doctor next time you see him – the harassment of proximity might be enough to something done, especially if you note down times your ‘uncle’ or someone else witnessed it. Also, if he comes up behind you at the medications queue, would you be able to say something so the staff could hear? Like, “Would you mind taking a step back, please?” Who knows, he might arc up, which might not be the worst thing if staff are there!
    I’m sorry if I’m giving advice that isn’t wanted or doesn’t fit your situation. I just really want things to get better for you.
    Take care. Keep that key safe!

    • That’s really good advice. I’m going to try stating things in front of others when he comes near, especially in front of the nurses. He often comes up to me alone, I have to hope the cameras catch that.

      • 🙂 Do whatever you need to do to feel safe. I dunno, sometimes I think being in hospital is like playing a game – the most skillful get the most out of it! I don’t mean that in any demeaning sense, just that there’s this set of rules and constraints you have to live around, so you need to find ways of making it work as well as possible for you.
        Thinking of you.*hugs* Be in touch if you need anything.

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