Greetings from cuckoo land

There’s this guy here who either wants to love me or to hurt me. I can’t decide and I don’t know if he can either. He makes me feel so uncomfortable but I don’t want to tell the staff because then he will know that I told on him. Everything he says makes me shudder but its so strange because I feel linked to him somehow so I don’t want him to disappear but I want him to stop following me and to stop coming up into my space. He knows I’m awkward and anxious. He tries to get into my head but I don’t know much about him at all. For a little while I wasn’t even sure he was real. I wondered if I had made him up in my head but now he talks to other people so unless we’re all imagining him, I think he is a real patient.

my body is not enjoying these medication withdrawals and changes but my mind feels much lighter. I don’t sob anymore. I don’t feel depressed, just anxious and uncomfortable. I really want to go home but it s only been a week. Today I ate dinner with another patient, which was a huge deal for me because I hate eating and I hate eating with other people. I had to do it because this patient is much older and she was upset earlier so I had to put my problems aside and when she asked if I would have dinner with her, I couldn’t say no. 

Missing everyone in blog land and missing my cat a lot. I miss my family and friends too but in a different way because I sort of assume they will be okay and will always be around. I don’t really know what I meant by that. I am sorry again about the iPad typos.

 

Love s&s 

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16 thoughts on “Greetings from cuckoo land

  1. We miss upu and look forrward to when ypu’re back. take care and remember to keep ypur integrity and don’t let this man too close until ypu feel it’s ok. That was so nice of you to eat with the old lady. Get wee soon.

    • Thanks kubik, I keep telling him that I want to be alone but he finds a way to be around. It’s so creepy. Just went out for a smoke and he was there and said, good morning beautiful. Creeped me out so much!

      • I don’t know if I like this guy or not. i wonder if he’s just very kind and caring or inmature and stupid. But he’s a guy so tell him in words that ypu want to be alone ( when ypu want that) I guess he dpon’t understand signals.
        And you’re at the hospital for getting better, not being scared. Take care. Ok?

  2. Thinking of you, and missing your presence here!
    Wouldn’t it be nice to, I don’t know, be able to buy a can of “nuisance man repellent”? 🙂
    Hope that situation settles down shortly. Things can sometimes happen quickly on psych wards, can’t they? XX

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