I am writing to try to distract myself from thoughts of self-harm and some really wacky intrusive thoughts. I don’t want to write about what’s going on now so instead I will write about the man that I imagined on the train the other day.
Firstly though, do other people do this? I call it, “Things on things.” I imagine things like monkeys swinging from poles or glitter flying out of a fan. I don’t generally imagine people but I did the other day.
He was a gentleman from the olden days. I say the olden days because I can’t pinpoint a specific era but he we was wearing a suit and a top hat. He had a wild moustache and a huge smile. He sat diagonally across from me and had a basket on the seat next to him. Without looking like I was being too nosy, I peered across and saw that the basket was full of corn and raspberries.He caught my eye and offered up an ear of corn. Everyone was staring at me, wondering what I would do. I laughed nervously at first until he realised how peculiar the situation was and laughed too. My hands went over my mouth to hide my giggles. He tapped his feet along to imaginary music and looked at my ipod with a confused expression so I tapped my feet to demonstrate that I was listening to music too. Our tapping fell into sync and we smiled at each other until a group of teenagers sat on the seat where the man was sitting and he was gone. I spent the rest of the journey watching an ear of corn roll along the floor of the train.