Putting Ailments Aside For A Friend

This is the conversation I had in my head this morning when I was trying to decide whether or not to go to an outpatient group.

Me 1: Go to group, you haven’t been in ages. It will be good for you.

Me 2: I feel like I am going to throw up!

Me 1: Well you’re out of bed, you may as well see how you feel as you get ready.

Me 2: I’m so tired. Maybe I should skip it.

Me 1: Don’t go back to sleep! You’ll be fine once you take some Valium/Xanax.

Me 2: I thought I was supposed to be taking those less often. Feeling sick will make me take more than I need.

Me 1: That’s okay. Just get ready.

So I got ready. I took 2 Valiums, 1 Xanax and then another Xanax. I made it to group. I didn’t throw up I felt much better with the sedatives in me. At morning tea I sat outside under some shade, smoked and took another 1/2 Xanax. I left at lunchtime to meet an old hospital friend who is back in hospital. I feel bad for her because her life isn’t easy.

I visited her because:

  • Once we were in there together and helped cheer each other up.
  • She visited me when I was in hospital alone.
  • I knew it would cheer her up.
  • I was there anyway.
  • Even though I don’t entirely understand her illness, we have more in common than not.
  • I needed cheering up too.
  • I’d already taken plenty of sedatives.
  • Even though we aren’t that close, she often refers to me as her best friend.
  • It was her first time out of hospital grounds.
  • I wanted to make her feel less alone.
  • I’m trying to be a better friend and even when I push her away, she still keeps in contact.
  • I needed to be the helper, not the one who needs help.
  • She is uniquely interesting.
  • I know how lonely hospital can be.
  • We could reminisce and make each other laugh.
  • Despite feeling unwell, I could do it.
  • I got to go home after we met and she’s stuck there. I know that feeling too well.
  • If it is my turn next, I know she will do the same for me.

14 thoughts on “Putting Ailments Aside For A Friend

  1. It sounds like you are a good friend. Reaching out and being there for someone when they’re a vulnerable place does wonders not only for them, but for yourself. That’s a win right there.

    • Thanks heaps. I was so close to just going back to bed this morning but something in me decided against it. Unfortunately because I kept changing my mind about going there and how long I might stay, I had nothing to give my friend but maybe next time I can bring her some flowers or something nice. 🙂

    • Thank you. The group part was hard but okay. Seeing my friend was nice because there’s something really childlike in her and I mean that in the nicest way. She is just a calm and innocent sort of person to be around. She also loves stickers, just like me! Maybe I am quite childlike too and that’s why we get along! *hugs!*

  2. I always find I feel sicker before I get somewhere, but find that it’s not that bad once I’m there. It doesn’t go away, away, but I find myself thinking, “what was I worried about?”

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