38 thoughts on “My Psychiatrist Is Back But I’m Not.

  1. What a difficult place to be…I’ve also been stuck between meds and it’s SO hard to know what is you and what is withdrawal…and what is side effects vs symptoms…it’s always such a mess to figure out. The worst part is that you feel like crap all the while and no matter which way you go, it seems to get worse.

    Hang in there. Go slow with the meds and increase for a short time to see if they have an effect? Maybe? My heart is with you on this. It’s not easy to get though. xx

    Thinking of you. xo

    • It is really hard because I don’t want to stop the meds altogether but I don’t like how reliant I am physically and mentally on them. I don’t know if I am doing damage by taking them every now and then but I know I can’t take them more frequently. Thank you so much for your support. 🙂

  2. You are one heck of a good soul. I would give you a hug. Your anxiety can be cured, not thru drugs but thru regaining your inner light.. I’m no doctor nor would I want to be one…. Light a candle tonight…

      • You can.. I’m hardly a doctor and drugs only help the symptoms… Finding the cause will only heal you. Until you remove the splinter in the finger. The pus comes back.. It’s all about the cause.. Peace

  3. I’m going to be the odd one out in this comments sections, because I feel like someones got to.
    From everything I’ve read and seen, and people I’ve met, I’ve known, it seems that sometimes some people actually need the drugs to feel well. There I said it.

    It’s most useful to find ways to cope that don’t rely on them. Drugs alone also can’t fix things.
    However, from everything I’ve read, I don’t think they are just a bandaid, sometimes I think it would be more apt to compare them to a cane. Some of us have a permanent limp.
    We can work our very best to make our legs more agile, stronger and make our whole selves healthier, and still need that goddamned cane.

    That said, you are the only one who can know if you are one of those people.
    I just want to remind you not to feel any shame if you are. It happens, it’s okay.

    Nothing wrong with trying to get off the meds if you don’t need them, nothing wrong with staying on them if you do.

    • I agree wholeheartedly with purplesshade’s comments above. Some need that damn cane and some dont. Only you can know. I also agree with omtatjuan’s comment that there is an underlying cause… Probably mix of bio-chemical and socio-psychological or circumstantial causes??? Either way, it sucks but finding the cause through therapy may help.
      Trust you will find it. Trust that there are brighter days ahead… Here’ a Hug for braving through today. : )

    • Thanks for your opinion, I really appreciate it and I agree with you mostly. It just depends on the class of meds I think. Antidepressants, antipsychotics and those sorts of meds can make a big improvement and be supportive. I struggle with benzodiazepines because they’re so addictive, they mess with my mood and they can change a person’s base-level of anxiety. I’m definitely in two minds about taking them because they do really help me but they’re dangerous and not supposed to be taken long-term.
      I figured I would be okay with taking them every now and then but my body doesn’t seem okay with that. I really don’t know what to do.

      • I mostly just wanted to make sure someone was telling you not to feel bad about taking meds.
        There’s too much med-shame out in the world.

        Though yes, I definitely agree, the type of med can play a really big role.
        And I can definitely understand wanting to avoid continuing an addictive one.
        If you only need them some of the time, but find you’re getting withdrawal symptoms all the time… well in your place I’d want off that ride too.

        Mm, perhaps you could look at other meds, ones with less worries of addiction.
        Have you tried a variety of meds, or were the benzos one of the frist things?
        (They were the first thing my doctor prescribed to me, I’m allergic to them though)

        Benzos can mix with a variety of other med, which means that if you wanted to taper onto something else, while tapering off of benzos.That could reduce the withdrawl symptoms and make the transition easier if you wanted to try something else.

        Antidepressants, or an ATAP like seroquel might be options… (I have a friend who takes seroquel, she has one dose which she takes regularily, because of sleeping issues, and one which is a fast release and can be taken in the same way as a benzo, which she uses when she has a panic attack. So for the same sort style of use as a benzo, there’s that.)

      • Thank you for not med-shaming me, I really appreciate it. I’ve been on heaps of different medications. I currently take an antidepressant, seroquel, a betablocker, a sleeping tablet and more seroquel. Plus the occasional benzo use. Benzos weren’t one of the first meds but I have been taking them for a year and a bit. I’ve tried other antideps and antipsychotics but have had bad side-effects. I am trying to take benzos less often because last year I got a bit carried away with them. It scares me how addictive they can be. You’re lucky you’re allergic to them. I wish I had a genuine reason not to take them.

      • Yup, I believe it, that certainly sounds like the experienced med-go-round riders ‘cocktail’.
        It’s hard to know, because sometimes people just haven’t tried many options… other times the options just happen to suck. (Seems like that’s the price of medications. They might work, but they’ll probably also suck to take even when they do.)

        Seroquel and more seroquel, do you already have both the slow and the fast release sort?
        (I take it, if that’s the case, that it wasn’t very effective then.)

        When anything compels us, and takes active conscious willpower to resist, is pretty scary.

        If you want to get off of them I think that’s really as good a reason as having an allergy.– Perhaps, if you find it hard to take control of tapering off them yourself, you could actually get help doing so from your pharmacist.
        Ours offers regulated amounts in blister packs, delivered on whatever schedule you need (weekly, monthly, whatever) if you only had so many that you could even have access to, and that slowly got smaller, then the only willpower you’d need would be inaction, rather than action.
        So basically as long as you weren’t actively seeking more you’d be succeeding in getting off them.
        It’s just a thought though.
        Not every method works for every person, but if I was just trying to get off them and didn’t want to do it cold turkey, that’s probably what I’d do.
        Exercising willpower is so much more work than allowing myself to succeed by doing nothing. hahaha

      • My scary truth: I am afraid to give them up completely. They save me at times. I hoard them because I am afraid my doctor will stop writing prescriptions and I might still need them. I have problems!
        I think I just take regular seroquel, not seroquelXR. I don’t want to take anymore seroquel, I kind of want to stop taking it altogether because it makes me so dopey and hungry.
        I don’t really know what I will do. As you can see I can’t make my mind up about anything!

  4. Good luck with the medication and your therapy. May I ask what kind of therapy you’re in? I.e., are you in therapy with a different therapist, or with your psychiatrist? And if it’s the psychiatrist, does he actually do therapy, or does he just prescribe drugs? I hope you’re able to access some meaningful, regular therapy because it can really help.

    • My psychiatrist doesn’t really do therapy. I suppose if anything it’s just “talk therapy.” She asks questions and I answer. Apart from that, she just writes prescriptions. I started seeing a new psychologist last year who does CBT but so far it isn’t going very well. I am not sure I will stick with her.

  5. I don’t want you to go back, and I don’t want you to get taken advantage of, and I don’t want you to have to take all those pills. But of course I don’t know you, so who am I to say? So many doctors threw pills at me, and all I gained was an empty wallet. But if they are helping, of course, that is up to you. At church today, we had to write down at least one goal for the year. Maybe it would be good to do some sort of class, even if it’s not jewelry making. A good support system helps me stay sane. I only took Seroquel a couple times, but it made me feel like I was wading through water in slow motion. Good luck.

    • Thanks Kerbey,
      I don’t want to be taking all of these pills either. I really wish my psychiatrist would ask why I am so anxious/depressed instead of trying to cover everything up with medication. Last year a different psychiatrist did an assessment of me and recommended that I go into hospital to come off every medication I am on and then possibly start again. My psychiatrist didn’t agree with this so it never happened but my mum keeps bringing it up and maybe it is the right thing to do. I’ve been medicated for so long that I don’t know the difference between a symptom and a side-effect.

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