Foul Medicine

First we were strangers. Then we were strangers who had common ties. Then you encouraged friendship. You seemed slightly more “together” than I am and maybe I scared you away by revealing my more destructive side. I could have left it at being acquaintances. You seemed to want to support me. You brought out my fun side. We laughed at our tragedies. You created our friendship and now you’re throwing it away. Am I too extreme for you? Are you too healthy for me? Was I holding you back? I tried to be supportive too. I talked a lot because you encouraged me. I’ve pushed people away before. You’ve pushed me before I had a chance to push you. I miss you. I feel like a creep when I try to get in touch. I can’t let you go because you actually understand me. I don’t know what I did wrong. I’ll keep the bad thoughts to myself. I’ll smile and dismiss the negatives in my life. I just wish you would send me a text so that I know you’re okay. I wish I could hate you because that would be so much easier. I wish you would tell me that I am selfish and too messed up to be your friend. I am sorry that I wasn’t who you wanted me to be.

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11 thoughts on “Foul Medicine

  1. I hope everything will turn out fine.
    Don’t be angri on yourself for having the courage to show who you are to you’re friend. Give him/ her time. Wish you all luck.

  2. I’m sorry to read this too 😦 I had someone in my life like this once, who understood every thought in my head. He left one day, as people usually do, telling me I was “no longer a positive experience” … ha. Yeah…thanks for that then.
    I think sometimes people want to help and be friends until they actually find themselves being needed in that role, then they fly away. I dunno. I’m sorry it happened to you. 😦

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