O Christmas Tree was written by someone with social anxiety

Christmas is over. It’s time to let out a sigh of relief! For the most part, I got through it okay. I didn’t completely freak out. No one gave me the third degree as to why I am not working or why I am not in a relationship. People were just happy to see me (I think). My family was incredibly generous. I got so many cool presents. I loved watching my family open their presents from me, they seemed happy with them. The saddest part of Christmas day was seeing two out of three of the elderly people cry. One cried because he misses my grandma. I miss her too. I miss her even more after writing that. There are no words anyone can say to make that sadness go away. Another elderly lady, whom I am not technically related to but spend Christmas with cried because she was tired and didn’t really know who anyone was, apart from her immediate family. I watched her granddaughter try to cheer her up as I tried to cheer up my (sort of) grandfather.

Some people seemed to have changed for the better. My stepmother is a good example of this. I hadn’t seen her in years but my brother and I were invited to lunch on boxing day with her and our father. My father seems more relaxed and happy these days but still appears to drink quite a bit. My stepmother, who has never had a nice word to say about me, seemed relaxed and happy too. She didn’t utter a nasty word about anyone. She was kind and didn’t bother me with personal questions. I really couldn’t fault either of them, they were great hosts and we were able to have a good time. After lunch we went for a walk on the beach and my father laughed and asked if I was steering him into the waves because he had long pants on. I wasn’t, but my father and I don’t really have a relationship so it was funny and sort of reminiscent of our past, where as a young girl that’s exactly what I would have done!The only thing I found annoying about seeing them and their mansion was when I said, “Your house is so nice!” and my stepmother said, “It is isn’t it?” It seemed like she was bragging. Maybe she just can’t believe her luck because she comes from a poor background.

No more Christmas for a year! Yay! Now I just have to get through NYE!

Oh yeah and the title of this blog is just a theory of mine. I can imagine someone wanting some space from their family, walking over to look at the Christmas tree for a while as a distraction and coming up with the song out of gratitude.

 

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7 thoughts on “O Christmas Tree was written by someone with social anxiety

  1. People were happy to see you, you brought peppermint bark. and its yummy, I am addicted now. NYE will be easy we are going to shake our fists at the tv when the very big fancy bursts light the sky but secretly giggle. 😉

    • Too right we’ll be shaking our fists! 😉
      I only gave the peppermint bark to my immediate family because it looked child-like. My stepdad loved it though, he ate his little bag full while we were opening pressies! My brother told me he ate some for breakfast the next day and loved it. He went on to have a normal breakfast though, we can’t live off chocolate alone!

  2. The most important thing is people were happy to see you!!! Someday your anxiety issues will be a thing of the past… A memory!

      • Believe it or not, soon this thing you call anxiety will go away the way everything else done. Having compassion on your suffering is one way of being the anxiety. Sounds weird huh.. Be the anxiety? But it’s like that thing the Buddhists say, “Be the ball” embrace the anxiety as opposed it embracing you.. There is a big difference.

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