Christmas Cooking S&S Style

  1. Decide to make peppermint bark to give to family and friends as an added present. (And perhaps sample some yourself!)
  2. Walk down to local shops to get supplies.
  3. Get annoyed because everywhere is sold out of candy canes. How is that even possible at this time of year?
  4. Carry everything home and decide to drive to another suburb to get candy canes.
  5. Realise it is one of the busiest days to try to get a park.
  6. Drive around the car park slowly. Take the first available spot and feel everyone’s eyes on you as you attempt to park.
  7. Somehow reverse park like a pro and walk away feeling proud.
  8. Go to the nearest supermarket and find candy canes. Buy two bags just in case. Get some “sparkling cachous” because everyone loves shiny things.
  9. Pick up a candy thermometer. You’re going to do this properly!
  10. Go home and get ready to temper chocolate for the first time.
  11. Stick one saucepan over another one which has some water simmering inside. (A makeshift double-boiler because you don’t make stuff like this often.)
  12. Melt the dark chocolate. Stick the candy thermometer into the chocolate and wiggle it around to make it do it’s job.
  13. Get angry at crappy $8 thermometer because it doesn’t work as you expected it to or it doesn’t really work at all.
  14. Take the saucepan full of chocolate out of the other saucepan when it looks “sort of ready”. Keep trying to work out the temperature with the crappy thermometer.
  15. Heat the chocolate up again briefly and let it cool a bit.
  16. Line a cutting board with the last bit of foil in your house because you don’t have a baking pan and you forgot to buy more foil or baking paper.
  17. Spread the chocolate out and to your surprise, realise it does indeed look tempered.
  18. Smash up candy canes. This part is really fun!
  19. Melt the white chocolate in the same way as the dark.
  20. Put the dark chocolate in the fridge because it wont set in this heat.
  21. Stir candy canes bits into the white chocolate. Wait.
  22. Wait, wait, wait… The dark chocolate is supposed to be set before spooning the white chocolate on top.
  23. Become really bored and impatient. Decide it is set enough even though when you touched the middle, it stuck to your finger.
  24. Spoon gooey white chocolate/candy cane mess on top and see why you’re supposed to wait for the dark chocolate to set.
  25. Watch the chocolates mix together and decide to go for more of a “swirly” look.
  26. Pour some more crushed up candy cane on top and liberally sprinkle the sparkling cachous over the mess. Stick it in the fridge and hope for the best.
  27. Reduce the list of people you’ll give the peppermint bark to. Decide it will only go to close family who already know you’re an impatient and crappy cook. (Lucky family, now there is more for them!)
  28. Worry that it will never set even though you’re not going to give it to anyone today or tomorrow or most likely not until Christmas day.
  29. Decide never to try to temper chocolate again. Or to cook for anyone again. Or to celebrate Christmas again. (Just kidding)
  30. End on number 30, just to make the list nice and even.
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4 thoughts on “Christmas Cooking S&S Style

    • No oysters, just a spoonful of vegemite!
      It is yummy, I tried it. It’s not tempered though and broke into ugly pieces with ragged edges. It also started melting as I put the pieces into little bags. Pretty much as soon as it leaves my fridge, it will melt into big globs… Lovely!

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