I’m not flirting, I’m fidgeting!

I was in group therapy one day and some of the other women and I were talking about hair while waiting for the session to officially start. One girl was wearing her hair differently and we were complimenting her, which lead to everyone else complaining about their hair in one way or another.

Another woman told me my hair always looked nice and she said that she noticed that I was always playing with it in a “flirty sort of way”. I don’t know if those words had the same meaning to her as they did to me (she is from an older generation) but I was so embarrassed. I like my group but there’s no one in there who has caught my eye, they’re like distant family or work colleagues. I didn’t want them to think I was sitting there trying to flirt with everyone!

I said, “Don’t worry you guys, I’m not flirting with you! it’s just a nervous habit!”

Now I worry that I play with my hair too much. I don’t want to give off the wrong social cues just because I never quite know what to do with my hands and my hair never seems to sit as perfectly as I would like it to. I play with my jewellery a lot too, does that have any sort of meaning?


P.S I would like to think my flirting is a bit more advanced than twirling my hair!


12 thoughts on “I’m not flirting, I’m fidgeting!

  1. I think I know what you are talking about here — in a way. I think that part of what they said bothers you because touching your hair was just a habit that you had, and now they pointed it out and made you feel uncomfortable. Am I correct?

    We all have things like this that we do. They go unnoticed by us. Sometimes they actually calm us down. So when someone pints it out, it sort of “destroys” our comfort. My best advice would be to try to forget what they said, and just go back to being yourself. You have a lot of other things you are dealing with; you don’t want to add another thing to that list.

    Just look a it this way: if twirling your hair was so overtly flirtatious, then why didn’t anyone mention it before this? I am sure it’s fine, so turn your focus back to being relaxed and making progress, and not toward the comments of those people.

    Hang in there!

    • Very good point, no one has mentioned it before. You’re right, the fact that it was pointed out made me feel uncomfortable but I also didn’t want anyone else to feel uncomfortable if it was in fact seen as flirty.
      It’s a hard habit to break so I doubt I will behave any differently.

      • I am very happy to hear that. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Please just try your best to put it out of you mind.

  2. lol…I do this too! (although no one has ever called it ‘flirty’) It does annoy my hubs to no end thought as I’ll sit there and twirl until my hair is in big sausage curls if I’m anxious.

    Just found you but I really like your blog. 🙂 Glad I happened by.

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