After the success of seeing the new psychologist the other day, I have been freaking out a little. I’m not worried that she might be a crappy therapist, in fact I can see the positives in having a crappy therapist:
- If I don’t get better, it’s not my fault.
- I have someone to direct my anger towards.
- I can say whatever I want without having to worry that it might offend the crappy therapist.
I’m worried that my new psychologist will be really great, will try everything she can think of to help and still I might not get better or life might not become more tolerable.
Maybe there are no crappy therapists, just crappy patients. Maybe it’s all about me. Maybe no one can fix me and I don’t want to have to rely on myself to get better because being myself is the reason I am so messed up.