It was another night of nightmares and sleep paralysis. I don’t doubt my imagination’s ability to create a ghost standing next to my bed but of course, my natural reaction was fear and of course, I couldn’t move. Sleep paralysis.
There is a long gap between thinking I am awake and actually waking. That’s when I panic the most. I hate not knowing what is real and I hate how easy it is to slip back into terror.
It doesn’t matter how many times I experience sleep paralysis, it still scares the absolute hell out of me. In those panicked moments, I would give anything to have someone rescue me. Even when I have woken up, I sob and I scream like I want everyone to know that I am terrified.
Last night I remember lurching to the side, pulling at my blinds and screaming out the window. I am pretty sure I was awake by then but sleep paralysis plays tricks on the mind so I may not have been. It felt so real.
If I really did scream out into the night, no one came to help me. Maybe my neighbours are used to my sleep problems. Maybe they tried knocking on my door and I didn’t hear them. Maybe I wasn’t screaming loud enough or maybe they just don’t care.