I love my best friend. It may have taken some time but she’s realising that I need more notice if she wants to see me. This isn’t always easy because she has a little one and a partner and can’t always make plans too far ahead but she sent me a text last night asking if I wanted to hang out today. I said yes and imagined I would be going over to her place, which is fine because I love seeing my sort of niece and my friend. I usually seem to come up with reasons why I can’t do something if she asks me on any particular day if I am free because I freak out about not having enough time to prepare myself mentally. Or I just ignore her texts until it is too late in the day to make plans. I’ve said it before, I am a pretty crappy friend but for some reason, my best friend still thinks I am worth having in her life and wont give up on me.
Things changed today because her partner didn’t go into work. I figured our plans might get cancelled but instead, they invited me to the beach. My usual worries took over but before I had time to freak out, I said that would be lovely and it was!
They picked me up, I sat in the back with the little one and chatted away. I had to take a Valium and two Xanaxs before I left the house but I was fine for the rest of the day. I went swimming, I lay on the beach and relaxed and I even ate some food with them. (On top of that, it was food I wouldn’t normally eat because I tend to stick to plain foods or foods I have had many times before.)
We built sandcastles and tried to get some summer glow onto our pasty skin, with plenty of sunscreen of course! We laughed a lot and it was almost as if things were normal. I am so glad I went! 🙂