I had to go to a friend’s daughter’s party today and I FREAKING SURVIVED!
I was so scared about going because I knew I would have to socialise with my friend’s family, who have known me since I was a little girl. I don’t even feel comfortable around my own family but I was honoured that I was invited because it was pretty much only family, both my friend’s and her partner’s.
I am still in my party dress. I love dressing up for parties. I am REALLY proud of myself. I took one Valium and 1.5 Xanaxs and that’s it. I relaxed when I realised everyone was focused on the birthday girl and the other babies. I got a lift home with my friends parents, which was really nice and saved me around $22, or maybe more because it’s evening now. ( I got a taxi there.)
I found myself able to make small talk and I didn’t need to leave or make up any excuses. I helped out a bit, which I always like to do. I was also so glad that I didn’t stayed glued to my friends side, I wanted her to be able to enjoy the party and not worry about me.
I know I couldn’t have done it without the medication but I am glad I didn’t need to keep topping up the meds, like I often do.
I stayed 4.5 hours!!!
Maybe I am a bit sugar high from eating fairy bread and cake and none of the grown up food. I just made myself a big salad to try to cancel out that! Haha!
I was an actress, I was the happy party guest with pretty shoes, a beautiful dress and lovely natural waves, which are working well these days after a good haircut the other day. (Another impulsive benzo moment!)
I played with the kids a lot, kids calm me down and make me laugh.
Guys, I feel amazing in this moment. RIGHT NOW.
When I am feeling crappy I will have to read this again.
Highlights- When my friend’s partner’s mother asked if I had lost weight. (I’ve gained about 2 kilos lately!)
-Watching my sort of niece blow out her birthday candles and seeing my friend and her partner look so happy and proud.
– Getting a party bag at the end (I am such a kid!)
– Chatting away with my friend’s parents and brother in the car on the way home.
– Watching the little ones get so excited over balloons.
I wish I could feel like this forever!
xox S&S xox