Tidal Wave

The sand looks like it goes on forever as the water recedes and prepares to tower over me. I cannot run, there just isn’t enough time. The sunlight is obscured by the mighty wave, night has arrived too early. The darkness makes accepting my fate much easier, I have nothing else to turn to.

I know the wave will hit and probably kill me. All I can hope is that it happens quickly. I’m inside it now, before it has even touched me. It owns me and it will crush me. The peak of the wave curls in towards itself and I take a deep breath.

I will be out of oxygen by the time it actually reaches me.

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16 thoughts on “Tidal Wave

      • Both. The only way to lessen anxiety is though addictive meds. The depression worsens this time of year as I mentioned before but the benzos also contribute. I just feel so bleak and it’s hard to control these thoughts. And it makes me feel so bleak about everything. Then the old BPD habits come back and I top it off with a fake happy attitude but people are starting to notice. I wrote something about some train folk as a bit of distraction. It sort of helped but I think I made it reflect my current mood a little bit!

      • anxiety can be helped with some CBT. Have you sought a new therapist?

        as for the meds, perhaps, but if they help make you enjoy the day more… then you should have another look at them.

        in reality anxiety and depression are both addicting as well, not that you want or enjoy either, but they both, in their ways, keep you in their hold.

      • They definitely do keep me in their hold. I haven’t looked for another psychiatrist yet… I just haven’t had the energy to organise it all. Or I am scared/lazy. Or all of the above. I do attend a group therapy though, sometimes it helps.

      • group therapy is very good, but it doesnt target issues like a tailored CBT program would. So I will leave you with this thought, because I know how hard it is to overcome the hold anxiety and depression have…. CBT can make them leave.

        That would be nice right?

        *hugs*

  1. I understand how you feel, but I also want to say I appreciate and admire your expressive writing.

    I hope the tidal waves will change their course the next time they rush towards where you’re enjoying the beauty of the sea. ♡

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