We’ll See About That.

I finally got around to calling my (ex) psychologist, although not to tell her that I wont be coming back. I simply cancelled my next appointment. I didn’t actually get to speak to her, I spoke to the receptionist (a different one than the one who was there when I went bananas) and gave no reason for the cancellation.

It’s weird but I can’t cut the psychologist off entirely, not because I see any benefit from going back but because it means she is still there and in some small way I still matter to her. I suppose I will just keep cancelling my pre-made appointments until they run out.

I saw a counsellor a while ago who was absolutely terrible. Aside from having an awful memory, she tried to plant ideas into my head and had some strange theories about what was wrong with me. I tolerated her for a while but it seemed like every time I saw her, I had to rehash the really important details because she didn’t remember them. I totally accept that it is difficult for therapists to remember every detail about every client but she forgot really big things. I felt like I could have walked in there as a cat and would have to tell her “I am a cat”, then she would probably try to tell me I was a dog or a bird. Eventually I decided it wasn’t going to work out so I called her to cancel my next appointment. I remember her trying to sort out a time for another appointment and I said something like, “Oh I will just think about things and call back another time.” I never called back, of course.

This time the receptionist asked if I needed another appointment and I said “I have plenty made, thanks.” She made sure I didn’t need to come in sooner and then said, “Well we will see you at your next appointment then.” In my head I was thinking, “yeah, right, we’ll see about that!” I thanked her and she told me to take care.

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