Chaos

I woke up particularly early this morning and turned on my computer and television,expecting the usual drivel which makes news. I was so saddened to see what happened in Boston. News like this terrifies me, yet I find it really hard to look away.

I think this is a normal reaction.

My world terrifies me most days, seeing sadness and destruction in another country doesn’t make me feel any safer.

My heart breaks for those who were injured or killed as well as for their loved ones.

This sort of news reminds me that stressing about having to get a train somewhere is pretty trivial. Stressing about going outside without makeup is pathetic. Doing everything exactly how I have to, well, it’s crazy but I need some sort of control in my life.

I’ve had an outside day, which was frustrating a little because I couldn’t keep up to date on what has happened in Boston. My day was emotional (for other reasons mostly) and I ended up numbing myself almost completely with medication after a small breakdown in public and too many tears over my trivial life.

If this sounds like rubbish, it’s because I am a benzo brain.

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