I get it

I just don’t fully believe it. We put forth arguments to challenge these ingrown negative thoughts and core beliefs. I can even help see the other side. I just can’t believe it. There’s a part of me which refuses to believe the positives. Just like I don’t believe I’ll ever sprout wings and fly or […]


I appear to function fairly “normally” when I take certain meds and by “normally” I mean in a more socially acceptable way but by no means like a “regular” person. Here comes the negative talk. I’m a cheater, I am a total fraud. People think I am doing so much better but take away my […]

Two Sides Of A Phone Call

Side One: I’m up early in preparation to see my psychologist. Today is going to be the day I confront her and decide if there is actually going to be any benefit from our sessions. Naturally I am extremely anxious and then I happen to notice I’ve written down two different appointment times. Shit. I […]

Friendship Reduction

My first hospitalisation seemed to cement my friendships. People knew how close they were to losing me and were genuinely concerned. I had visitors most days and I was keen to return to my old life. My old life wasn’t good for me and as a result, many other hospitalisations occured. Friends stopped asking how […]

A Handshake

If this were the real world, I’d be looking for an exit. When it comes to introductions and small talk I tend to be vague and shy. I can be robbed of entire conversations mostly because when others are talking, I am willing myself to be calm and simultaneously thinking of all of the potential things […]